


Lionel's birthday

by Tezca



Series: The crazy life of Lionel and the Aztec gods he lives with [1]
Category: Aztec Religion, Fur (2006)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:59:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quetzalcoatl quest to get chocolate for his mortal made immortal husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lionel's birthday

**Author's Note:**

> I based the height and stuff around what mytforskare though off since I liked how she portrays the Aztec gods and its my headcanon that Huitzilpochtli picked up a British accent and slang terms over the years after the fall of the Aztecs.

It started as a tradition when Lionel met and then eventually married Quetzalcoatl, the famous Aztec god of culture and all that good stuff, that Quetzal would steal chocolate for him on the morning of his birthday. Lionel had met him in years past and since be rendered immortal, but not really a god. Lionel would still address the others with either a Lord or Lady before the name except when he is addressing his husband. 

Due to not really knowing when Quetzal was born(not even he had any clue), he would use the day when they first met as a day to celebrate him, showing the love he had for him through the kinds of gifts he would make and the priestly like clothes he would wear. 

He would even do what the people would do as a sacrifice to Quetzal, that is pricking and giving some blood to him, but Quetzal told him he didn’t have to do that due to the time being 300 years after the fall of the Aztecs and them not really caring as much for sacrifices(except maybe Tezca who just misses them if anything).

However whenever it was Lionel’s birthday, Quetzal would do the same for Lionel, showing that he loves him and all that jazz, but the main difference would be depending on when Tonatiuh figures out Quetzal has stolen his chocolate again. Some years he doesn’t find out until its too late and the day is almost over, and others he finds out earlier and storms in to yell at the wind god just moments after Lionel devoured the chocolate. 

This year it would be the latter it seems, as Quetzal only made it to gently waking Lionel up in their bedroom when he heard the familiar angry voice yelling his name.

“Quetzalcoatl what the hell did you do with my chocolate! And don’t play innocent snake spawn I know you do this every year.” Tonatiuh yelled, walking up to the taller god. He did tried to exude as much of an intimidating demeanor as he could with his short stature, but that doesn’t help so much when the other god towers over you.

“These are are Lionel dear Tonatiuh, it’s his birthday.”

“Well yes I know that, but do you have to take my chocolates? You can just go out and fucking buy some you know!”

“This is more fun, besides don’t you have plenty of them anyways in that box of yours in the closet.”

“Wha...wait what!?” Tonatiuh in surprise yelled, he thought nobody there knew about his secret stash of chocolate. The noise had caused Tezcatlipoca to stir from his sleep from the other room behind the drapes separating the two bedrooms. “How the hell did you find that...nobody was suppose to know about them!”

Quetzal just kept calm and simply shrugged, “I known about it for years, decades even.”

“Just give the chocolates back…” Tonatiuh demanded as he made a grab for them, but much to his chagrin Quetzal had lifted his hand up and thus out of reach. He made a few tries jumping up and grabbing them, but they were in vain and it just resulted in Quetzal smiling as if he was being amused. “They are mine and mine only.”

“You know for such a humble god, you sure can be selfish.” Quetzal commented, which just made the short sun god even more mad.

“Oh shut up and don’t you use my height to your advantage, it’s not funny and its embarrassing!”

“Actually yes it is…” Tezca quipped leaning against the wall in the doorway. “No wonder you don’t get all the ladies, they all want a tall, handsome, badboy of a god. Not some chocolate addicted shrimp who has to stand on his toes to kiss a girl.”

“Oh shut up before I take your obsidian foot and jam it up so far you’ll be shitting obsidian bits for the next millenium.” Tonatiuh shouted back before kneeing Quetzal in the nuts, thus allowing him to grab the chocolates and run out.

Quetzal immediately bent over in pain for a second before ignoring it and running after Tonatiuh to claim back what he stole. “Hey!….those are for my dear Lionel you little virginal fuck, I stole them fair and square!” Quetzal yelled after him as he ran after Tonatiuh, leaving both Lionel and Tezca in the room.

Tezca then grabbed his mirror to watch the ensuing chase between the other two gods and walked over so Lionel could watch along with him.

“This is the first time in a while since he got caught this early.” Lionel said chuckling.

Tezca nodded, “Yeah, you’ve should have seen how pissed Tonatiuh was when Quetzal stole chocolate for humanity, he threaten to burn up the world.” Tezca chuckled.

“I see, I can imagine that knowing Lord Tonatiuh.” Lionel said as they can hear faint sounds of stuff crashing onto the floor. “You know I would’ve been just fine with store bought chocolate.” Lionel said, thinking on the grand schemes of things.

“If there’s anything I know about my annoying brother is that he tends to go out to get the best for whoever he loves.” Tezca said while keeping his eyes on the mirror which was currently showing Quetzal and Tonatiuh making a mess in the main dining area. “He did the same for Mayahuel long ago.”

As one can expect,the noise that the two gods were making while chasing each was waking everyone up. Some were used to it and therefore numbed by it, others were not amused.

Thankfully Tlaloc was more amused, “Let me guess...Lionel’s birthday?” The rain god just walked in after being woken up by Quetzal failing to tackle Tonatiuh and instead knocking over a statue in the hallway outside his bedroom.

Lionel nodded while Tlaloc, “Sorry if you were disturbed Lord Tlaloc.”

“Nah its ok, I was up already making it rain in random places, I was bored.” He said sitting next on the other side of Lionel and watching the events unfold on the mirror. 

“Hey happy birthday Lionel.” Xipe said walking in, “I can always tell when its your birthday if I wake up to Tonatiuh and Quetzalcoatl insulting each other at 8 am.”

“Thank you.” Lionel said smiling nicely as Tezca laughed at what Xipe said. That was pretty much true and nowadays more of them know for certain what day it is whenever they hear noises like this.

Just then all four of them could hear the distant voice of the sailor mouth Huitzilopochtli yelling. Tezca then becken all of them to come watch as apparently the two gods chasing each other accidently ran into the war god’s room. 

It was a known fact around the place that Huitzil was known to sleep in late in the morning as he wanted his beauty sleep and his propensity to swear like a British sailor if he was disturbed(or angry in general)..

Tezca then did some waving around to put the sound on and immediately they all started chuckling at the swears and yelling going on. 

“.....If you bloody gits come in here and wake me up before 9 am I’m going to fucking skin you both and give them to Xipe to wear!” Huitzil yelled on screen making the four burst out laughing. This wasn’t the first time that Huitzil was woken up like this, one year he got so pissed that he pushed them down one of the few portals they had down to Earth. 

This time though he just grabbed the chocolates from Tonatiuh and after a few more minutes of all three yelling, told them to beat it before he rips out their hearts. 

“They are for Lionel you know its his birthday…” Quetzal yelled back through the entrance way.

“I don’t bloody care!” Came the response leaving Quetzal and Tonatiuh looking at each other in the hallway. Quetzal then then grinned with a knowing look that conveyed his intentions to Tona.

“Oh no, don’t you fucking dare think of stealing any more of my...hey!” Tona then bolted after Quetzal trying to catch up to him. “Get back here you feathered snake boy, you can’t have them! They are mine.”

Quetzal proved to be faster than him and got to the box just as Tona walked into his room, “You know you should learn to share your chocolate, you are so into your addiction...in fact I’m surprised you haven’t gone to a rehab center for this.”

“Oh shut up!” Tona said as he blocked the entrance with his arms, feeling his face getting more redder.

It didn’t help that Quetzal was keeping a cool face during all of this,“You think you that would work….you do know what god I am right?”

Tona scoffed, “Of course I do you idiot, knowledge, culture, the morning star and...oh shit..” A lightbulb of realizing just clicked right before Quetzal used his control over the wind to blast him off his feet and into the wall in the room across from them, knocking the poor sun god out.

Which just happened to be his and Lionel’s room. He then strode into the room and assumed a dramatic victory pose, “Today is a victorious day gentleman for I have fought and defeated the evil god of chocolate and successfully acquire his most prized box of chocolates.” Quetzal said dramatically which led to giggles and an eye roll from Tezca.

By now the other gods were standing and Lionel too got out of bed and was greeted with a kiss and a smile, “For you Lionel, happy birthday.”

“Thank you, these are delicious. Why don’t we share them with everyone else as well.” Lionel suggested and they all went to the dining area for breakfast.

10 minutes later Tona woke up and just muttered to himself, “I just had to be a god of Aztec myth.”


End file.
